Why is he looking at ME like THAT?
So, this guy I know… He’s a nice fellow, but I think he’s trying too hard to get with me. He told me once, “The first time I saw you, I thought you were the prettiest girl I’d seen.” which has to be quite a leap to flatter me, considering that 9 out of 10 people mistake me for a guy. I don’t try to look guy-ish, but I certainly don’t doll myself up either. I just wear clothes that are comfortable, and about everything in the womens’ section is very intimidating, so my wardrobe is quite…preppy junior-high boy. My hair is also short, so that the most time I spend ‘fixing’ it, is just a quick ruffle through my fingers. So this guy must be pretty desperate to win me over. He’s not a looker himself, either in physique or in the way he carries himself (his slouch in posture and often shaky/uncertain stride just betray his outgoing and friendly nature). My impression is, he wants very much to be a social norm. He’s got a job, he’s got a house…now he just needs a woman, and apparently, I’ve been nominated for the role.
I’m probably the most unlikely candidate for the role of girlfriend. I generally don’t socialize, even in ‘just friends’ settings, because I’m just not drawn to it as others are. I’m independent, withdrawn, and quiet (very selective on what subjects really get me talking), though I do have a sharp sense of humour (something he’s said he likes about me). I’m kinda thankful that this guy talks about everything he does from day to day or there’d be a lot of dead air between us.
While in the car with him or at the movies, or in any position in which we are seated side-by-side, he’ll often grab for my hand or ask to hold my hand, and I’ll be like, “uh, ok.” while secretly thinking “what’s the point?” (what IS the point??) I know some guys are sensitive to a girl’s need for physical, uh, comforts as a way to attest they are truly adored, but I’m actually the opposite– this physical stuff’s just a nuisance because I can’t really wrap my head around the point of it. The more I try to understand, the more I think, “maybe he’s not letting me know he likes me” –I think we have that established by now– “maybe he’s just being clingy and affectionate for his own self-satisfaction”.
So, just like I pet my cat every time she nuzzles my legs or jumps on my lap, I hold this guy’s hand every time he grabs mine. And refrain from teasing him with something like, “there, there. It’s okay. I’m right here. I’m not leaving yet.” I’d be better placed in a position of management, or possibly teaching. Therefore, you should be aware that by saying ‘opposite of physical’, I did not mean ‘emotional’, but rather, intellectual. Perhaps this proves I have a stone core, but knowledge (bookish, not the gossip sort) stimulates me more than anything, and every attempt to snag him into a good conversation on the subjects I’m interested in, he doesn’t bite…he’ll try to build a bridge back to his more familiar territory, connecting my question to something that happened the other day that actually has nothing to do with anything I wanted to discuss.
He’s a nice guy, I like hanging out with him, but beyond casual, I think we’re just selling each other short. Worse, I think I’m just humouring this guy’s affection for me as a means of data-collection, because when people act strange, it intrigues me. Basically, I suppose my question is should I inform this guy that I’m not seeing this relationship at the same perspective he is, or wait for him to catch on and lose interest through my lack of interest? After all, he has let on that he’s a sensitive guy, even using the exact words “it really hurt my feelings!” while relaying a story about some co-worker teasing him for something that, in the same situation, I would’ve been unresponsive towards. I, uh, don’t want to make him cry.
Bonus question: Am I total hopeless cause for dating?
Passive Income
