Comments on: my 25 year old daughter’s dating a 39 year old jailbird. She has a good job, a flat, mortgage etc. Help?

By: CamPil

CamPil — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 03:24:03 +0000

Well this sounds exactly like what my daughter is doing. I chose to let her make her own decision about an older guy w/ kids. Then I found out he was in jail for doing somthing to his ex wife. I then told her I didn’t support the relationship and although I can’t make him stop seeing her, I can not allow him around my family. I fear for her, but all I offer is my love and support for her. He helped my daughter through a rough time and all I can say is that I was happy for that fact at the time. I do agree that the attachment is a rebound effect of the tough situation and unless concerns are explained and understood then,there is reallyy nothing more we can do except be ther and offer our love.

By: cocoy

cocoy — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 11:27:04 +0000

in my opinion, the best teacher is experience - so, your daughter could be messing up, but she ain’t gonna learn until she actually messes up. so do her a favor, wash your hands, let go and let her do her own thing. afterall, he maybe her mr. right …

By: meow!!

meow!! — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 09:12:59 +0000

All you can do is let your daughter know how you feel about the situation. In the end, she is going to do what she wants. Most people don’t listen to others, they have to find out on their own. I’m sure your daughter is smart enough to make good decisions. It just sounds like this man is a crutch for her while she is lonely. I’m sure it won’t be a permanent infatuation. Give her some time and she will figure it all out on her own. Just be prepared to be there for her if something bad happens.

By: Crystal M

Crystal M — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 03:54:59 +0000

Speaking from experience, let her live her life and it is a mistake, she has to make it. The more you tell her that he is not right for her, the more she is going to be in his arms. Be supportive, but cautious.

By: cuddleyleo2003

cuddleyleo2003 — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 05:29:50 +0000

This just reinforces my own belief that women do not want to date a nice guy. They would rather go through the heart ache and pain associated with losers rather than be with someone who will grow with them. Then they claim “where have all the good men gone?” LOL. All I can tell you is to hope she grows out of this relationship without too much damage. As a parent, that is all you can do!

By: Kitten Toes

Kitten Toes — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:16:25 +0000

She needs to be directed back to counseling, and possibly back on her medication. You obviously aren’t going to be able to talk any sense to her - especially if she thinks she’s in love with someone in jail for a violent crime.

By: takemymulligan

takemymulligan — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:17:45 +0000

I hate to tell you this, but your daughter is an adult, and if she wants to spend her time with this loser, that’s her choice. There is likely nothing that you can say to her at this point that will change her mind, and it will likely only damage your relationship with her.
All you can do now is support her in her efforts to get better mentally. Hopefully she will see the guy for who he is and send him packing. But she is the only one that can make that decision.

By: Sharpener

Sharpener — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 18:21:07 +0000

Well…..since she is quite of age. What has she said to YOU about him? That matters.

And what does height have to do with it? lol

You obviously sound protective of your daughter. I would take her to lunch and LAUGH and talk with her. Tell her how much you LOVE her and that you just want the best for her. Ask her how she feels…….then…..TRUST her.

By: megp

megp — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 02:03:22 +0000

She is making a bad decison but there is really nothing you can do to stop a 25 year old. She is going to have to realize on her own before its too late and he has gotten her into any trouble. A low self esteem does cause women to date men who are unworthy- do you know why her self esteem is low? The only thing I can think of is to help her get over some fo the things that causes her to feel bad about her self!!!! GL… I really hope everything is okay! ( She needs her meds!!!)
How about an intervention with her family and friends!!!???

By: Josh Medina

Josh Medina — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 00:22:08 +0000

Hopefully some day soon she wakes up and smells the roses and gives him the boot….